A dervish whirls across the sand of the deserts of Elona.
See this, not because it is a good thing, because battle is not a good thing (and those who think it is are generally fools). See it not because it is a beautiful thing, but because it is ugly. See it because it is a man in his prime executing a skill he has perfected throughout his entire life, and that is worth seeing. No matter what the circumstances
The fighting style of the dervish has often been compared to a dance, and rightly so. This dervish fits the stereotype exactly. His scythe becomes an extension of his arms; his feet pirouette gracefully; his eyes glow ever so faintly with the fire of the gods. As he fights—no, dances—impressions are left in the sand that look as though a family of snakes has passed through overnight. Even though it is hot in the desert, a cowl is pulled over his heat, as it should be. The dervish is a man of the desert, and he knows that shade and the preservation of body water is more important in the end than any mere ephemeral comfort. Nonetheless, sweat drips off his nose and onto his robes, hot and salty. He dances. He fights.
His opponent is a heket, a frog-man with a crude axe and buckler who, despite his species, seems remarkably adept at combat. He too dances, though to a different, more chaotic, rhythm than the dervish. He too fights. In his eyes, however, there is a dull and unthinking fear. He knows that he has met his match. He knows that today is his death-day.
The dervish swoops forward with his scythe; the heket jumps back. The heket leaps up with his powerful legs and lunges towards the dervish; the dervish swerves to the right and comes back with a horizontal thrust of his scythe. The heket parries this with his buckler and swings his axe around. And so on. And so on.
Alone but for the sun, the desert, and the scavenger birds waiting patiently up ahead, the dervish and the heket do battle.
The sound the heket made when Grim Mortbane killed it was a pathetic squawk; a ribbit that ended with resounding finality when the dervish brought his scythe down for the final blow. The heket lay at his feet in a heap, its limbs twisted at uneven angles. Its tongue hung from the side of its mouth almost comically.
Grim nudged its stomach with his foot, checking to see if it was really dead. The creature’s lungs expelled a small burp, the last of the air remaining in its reptilian lungs. Then, once more, all was silent. In the small area around him, the sand was rife with footprints. Had there been more heket to fight, the footprints would likely be all but impossible to read. As it was, Grim could occasionally make out a parry, a thrust, a swing, a leap. He was lucky to encounter only one heket. It probably had been on a patrol, or some such thing. He could have handled more, but what would he have done with the excess meat? Left it for the scavenger birds, probably. Waste. The desert abhors waste.
It was noon, and unusually hot. He felt the last of the adrenaline of combat pumping itself out of his bloodstream; felt sweat matting his hair and his beard, making the inside of his robe wet and uncomfortable. It didn’t bother him. His father had belonged to the temperate climates of Tyria, but Grim was a creature of the desert. The heat energized him.
He felt disappointed. The fight had been a good one, his opponent worthy enough for its kind. Pleasurable in its own way. Now he was confronted with the mundane tasks of the after-battle: the drudgery of gutting, cooking, and eating the foul meat of the creature he had slain. Then he would search the surrounding area for one of the round water-barrel cacti with which to refill his canteen. The water the cacti trapped smelled like urine and tasted worse, but it would have to do. It was worse than bad water and bad food and boring tasks, though. In the past few weeks, Grim had been facing a deep and abiding melancholy that was very unlike him. Only two things really seemed to matter to him any more: fighting, and the chase.
The people he was chasing after was a small group of corsairs. The reason he was chasing after them was because they had kidnapped his son. It was a crime they were going to pay for with their lives, which seemed perfectly fair to Grim. It wasn’t the first time he had killed, nor would it likely be the last.
It did not occur once to Grim that there could be a battle he could not win.
The day after his fight with the heket, Grim came across the first signs of the men he was pursuing. The fools had left in a rush that morning and had not covered up their campfire properly. The dervish squatted on his haunches and surveyed the campsite. It was the second of its kind he had seen since he had begun to follow the corsairs. The first had told him two vital things: from a crumpled red head-scarf he learned that his enemies were corsairs, and from a tuft of brown fur he had learned that his son was still alive. If the boy was still alive, that meant that these corsairs were slavers. If they were slavers, his son was safe—for the time being. The latter revelation had filled him with uncontrollable joy. Before that point, vengeance had been his only goal. Then a new one had come into play: rescue.
This campsite offered no new vital revelations, however. Grim gave it a cursory search, then went on. There was nothing for him there.
That night, he ate some more of the heket meat he had stored away in his belt-pouch. He lit a fire with what little drywood he could find in the surrounding area, deciding that discovery by the enemy was preferable to eating the meat raw. Fire was a necessity anyway, for even despite his thick robes night in the desert was cold, and made more cold by bad dreams. He dreamt of his son. How the boy had grown so big in just a few years. How he’d never really been accepted by humans, but also how the tiny Charr had never seemed to begrudge them that. Roan never really seemed to begrudge anyone anything. He had a very charming simplicity of personality, in which jealousy or vendetta did not seem to play a part. Even the fierce rages that he occasionally descended into never lasted for long. Grim had high hopes for his son’s future, though what it would be he did not know. He hoped that the boy might one day become a Sunspear like his father, but that was unlikely. More probably he would join some guild that was accepting of differences and go on his own adventures. That would be fine—there was honor in that. At least he wouldn’t be a farmer.
If someone had ever asked Grim whether he could love a Charr just a few years ago, he would have laughed, and then possibly been angry at them for the insult. Roan, however…yes. Grim did love his son.
Acceptance of that thought did little to make his sleep easier.
The following day, and the day after that, went much the same. He found campsites of the corsair on both days. His enemies were getting sloppy. Possibly because they were getting close to the sea and were eager to return to their foul mischief, probably because they knew that they were being followed. Grim was fine with that. He estimated that he would catch up easily with them even if they doubled their speed. One dervish carrying very little can move far faster than a band of corsairs. Grim suspected that he was getting very close now. At best they were two days ahead, maybe only one.
As he ran across the desert, the pea-sand crunching beneath his shoes and his scythe casting a long and ugly shadow in the evening light, he found himself thinking more about his son. Specifically, his son’s capture. He didn’t blame himself for it—wasn’t the type to lay unreasonable burden upon himself—but nonetheless couldn’t help but think that he could have done something different. If only he hadn’t taken Roan on this little vacation to Kourna. If only he hadn’t let Roan go hunting on his own, no matter how much the little tyke had bugged him about it. Sure, Roan was as strong as an adult human man now (probably stronger than a few) and he could handle himself well enough, and there hadn’t been anything dangerous near the campsite, and how was he to know that the corsairs had ventured all the way up to the edge of the desert here, and it really had been reasonable for him to let the boy go out but…but…if only.
Grim shook his head and tried to fight off the melancholy once more. It wasn’t like him to be introspective, but something about his son always made him feel this way. Maybe it was the way he had come across Roan: that moral crossroads he had found in the far north of Tyria that had burned itself into his memory like a hot iron brand into soft flesh.
Worst of all, Grim missed Roan terribly. Missed him so much that it hurt. He longed for a happy reunion with his son, and longed to wreak terrible vengeance on the corsairs who had stolen him.
He only had one more day to wait.
So close!
He could see the party of corsairs ahead. Their red robes formed a scarlet mirage over the surface of the desert. Instinct and battle-lust told him to rush ahead immediately and charge the enemy. Experience and wisdom made him drop back further, so they wouldn’t see him. Charging in now would do no good at all. He would lose the advantage of surprise, and they could blast at him with wands and cestas and shoot him down with bows. Worst of all, they could hurt Roan. He would wait until nightfall.
He still wanted to charge though—oh, how he wanted to charge!
When nightfall came, Grim began to creep forwards towards the camp of the corsairs. They all appeared to be sleeping—their fire had burned down and just barely illuminated the little radius of the camp. There was one very large tent, which Grim assumed belonged to the corsair captain. Running with that big heap of canvas to weigh you down had to be dreadful, and it explained some of the corsair’s slowness. Why they would have brought the thing, Grim couldn’t fathom. Possibly the captain was a bit of an egomaniac. Roan was nowhere in sight; Grim guessed that he would be in the tent. That seemed odd, but he didn’t give it too much thought.
Seven corsairs were strewn about the campsite haphazardly, swaddled in blankets to ward off the night-chill. Grim didn’t feel cold. Eager anticipation and adrenaline mixed and burned red-hot in his blood.
As it turned out, the battle was not much of a battle—or at least not at first. Grim cut the first corsair’s throat with the blade of his scythe, and the second. The third, however, stirred ever so slightly and rolled off to the side. Grim swore. The corsair woke, gave a muffled shout, and then Grim killed him, but it was already too late. He had woken his brethren.
The remaining four corsairs sat up groggily and stared at Grim dumbly. He waited for a moment and allowed them to get their wits about the. Creeping around and killing enemies in their sleep was for Assassins (people whom Grim had little respect for). Now it was time for a good old fashioned brawl, and that was much more to the dervish’s liking.
The first corsair appeared to be the smartest, because he caught hold of the situation immediately. Without hesitation he charged with a sword he grabbed from beside his bed. Grim neatly blocked his awkward swipe and then swung his own blade across the man’s mid-section. The corsair crumpled to the ground in a heap.
His comrades, upon seeing this quick exchange of blows, appeared to finally wake up fully. One of them ran away behind the tent, and Grim scowled. Coward! He would pay dearly for abandoning his companions in such a way.
The sole remaining corsair grabbed a blade similar to the one the first had used, and charged towards Grim. The dervish sighed. No creativity in these louts at all, none at-
The corsair’s blade ripped through Grim’s robe, and the dervish felt the slightest stab of pain in his left side. His eyes widened and his mouth formed a shock O of surprise. It wasn’t much of a blow, but it was a blow. Grim realized that he had been tricked, and had paid for his inattentiveness.
He stepped back and swung the scythe around in a wide arc. His opponent was nowhere to be seen—until Grim felt another jab at his back. Once again, just a small cut (it would have been worse if Grim hadn’t been stepping forwards at the moment) but a cut nonetheless.
Then it occurred to him what was going on: his opponent was under some sort of spell, probably one that enhanced his speed. The man had lunged with incredible quickness, and then had managed to get around Grim despite the dervish paying full attention. Nearly full, he thought with chagrin. It was his own fault and his own mistake, but not one that was unsolvable. After all, dervishes had their own variety of magic at their disposable.
Grim swung around and stepped to the left simultaneously, trying to make his movements as unpredictable as possible. He offered up a very quick prayer to Dwayna to shield him and to Balthazar to give him strength. When most people pray, they don’t really expect to get answered. Dervishes, Grim included, not only expect it, they took it as a matter of course. The gods heard his plea.
He saw the corsair once more, to his left. The pirate was jabbing towards his heart, perhaps hoping for a quick killing blow. Grim smiled. His eyes glowed with holy light,and he smirked with less-than-holy self-satisfaction. The corsair’s expression was one of undignified terror. Grim swung his scythe around once with unnatural speed. The blade itself blurred and then was just a metallic streak in the air.
Speed? I can show you speed, Grim thought.
The corsair attempted to dodge, and failed. Grim’s scythe made a huge gash in his abdomen, and the corsair fell over into the campfire. His clothing immediately burst into flames, and he stated to scream. Grim didn’t feel pity, he was just disappointed that the corsair captain would likely now be wakened by this man’s shrieks. He cut off the screaming with one more downward chop. Silence.
Now he stalked around the back of the tent. There he found the coward corsair huddled up, probably hiding. The man babbled to Grim unintelligibly and fell down onto his knees, but Grim ignored him. One more slice, and the last corsair fell, or rather, slumped over against the back of the tent. His arms moved to cover the gaping hole that was now his mid-section, trying to hold in his now-spilling guts, and then he moved no more.
Truly, the blessings of the gods were with Grim tonight! Glorious victory!
Grim went back to the front of the tent and pushed open the flap, prepared for a final confrontation with the corsair captain. As it happened, that would not be necessary.
The corsair captain was already dead.
The sand on the floor of the tent was awash with blood, clearly visible even in the dull light the captain’s bedside lamp provided. The corsair leader’s corpse was horribly mangled, one of the worst bodies Grim had ever seen, and he had seen many corpses. The captain’s head was separated from his body by a few feet. His face was contorted in agony, the corners of his mouth twisted down at an unbelievably sad angle. Grim could see that this man had not died quickly, but in long and excruciating pain. Why hadn’t he screamed, though? Ah, yes, there was his tongue. On the opposite side of the tent. The man’s body was lying face-up (or what would have been face up, had he a face) and his stomach and left arm appeared to be almost entirely gone.
And, straight in the middle of all the carnage, there was Roan, with the biggest puppy-dog grin on his face that Grim had ever seen in his life.
Grim was infuriated. Infuriated at the corsairs, but mostly infuriated at his son (what son? how can an animal be a son!). He was angry because the child had acted exactly the way that Grim had wanted to prove he didn’t have to act: like a monster. Grim had failed, and spectacularly so. That the corsair was a monster himself didn’t matter. Roan had killed a human, and he’d…eaten. He was lucky that Grim had attacked when he had, apparently, because their moves had coincided. Roan—no, the Charr—‘s bid for escape, and Grim’s assault. And to think, he’d come to rescue that creature! That monster! For Grim, everything had come undone.
Most of all, he felt guilt.
So much for wouldn’t-hold-a-grudge-against-anyone, Grim thought.
The dervish stalked across the room. His scythe was still in his hand, and he wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to do with it yet.
“You little monster, you…” he shouted, and then stopped. He didn’t know how to continue. Roan had…he’d…
He’d killed a corsair.
Grim was assaulted by visions of the outside. A corsair bending over himself, trying to hold his own pathetic guts in. A corsair burning in the fire, screaming for mercy and not getting any. More men killed in their sleep. Did they have lives? Families? Had they even known that Roan was anything but a monster? Then, the heket—weren’t they intelligent? And hadn’t he eaten them, sometimes, yes, even raw?
Was the violence even necessary? It had seemed so at the time, but now he wasn’t so sure. Could the corsairs have been bargained with? Could he at least have tried?
The dervish felt sick with guilt again, but guilt over his own actions. He thought of a thousand other instances, a thousand other deaths. Charr, corsairs, soldiers, beasts, so many. How many had he witnessed? How many had he caused? Countless. Some of them no doubt for a good cause, but some of them…some of them admittedly for fun.
How many could have been avoided?
Roan looked up at his father and whimpered. The sound was remarkably human. The smile was gone from his face. There was still blood smeared across the child’s furry face, and he appeared to be wearing bright red gloves.
This time Grim looked down at his son (for he certainly was that), but it wasn’t with rage. He felt nothing but sadness for the child.
My son is just like me, he thought. He’s just like me.
Grim wept, for the first time in countless years. Maybe the first time since his father had left their family for Tyria, so long ago. He wept because of another loss, this once no less great than that one on Istan so long ago.
He wept because of his son’s loss of innocence. He wept because of his own loss of innocence. He wept because of deep, pervading guilt.
Most of all, he wept because he knew that his son was going to be a warrior, and, in that moment, Grim would have preferred for him to be anything else. Even a farmer. That wouldn’t happen, though—couldn’t happen—and for this, Grim wept.
Roan also wept.
“Battle not with monsters,
lest ye become a monster;
and when you gaze into an abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
“And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He’d grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.”
– Harry Chapin